Duty's Burden
by CUtopia
Summary: Severus Snape had never thought that it would be easy to fulfill the mission Dumbledore had given to him, but when the Death Eaters catch a certain person, his duty collides with his hidden feelings...
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so, I don´t know where this will be leading to, I just had this idea as I rewatched Deathly Hallows 1, seeing the beginning with Charity Burbage being killed and like always I was just struck by Alan Rickmans acting, this man is just amazing! The hidden emotion, as he knew Charity good... and then I just imagined what would be if it had been Rolanda, being the Snooch-shipper all the way. So, watch the scene again and imagine Rickman/Snape while reading ;)

I hope you all like it, leave me your opinion :)

* * *

The night was dark and cold as Severus Snape walked up the long parkway that lead to the impressive Malfoy Manor. His black cloak seemed to unify with the atmosphere that surrounded the world since the rise of Lord Voldemort. As calm as he looked to the people that saw him, as churning was his inside and before he went to meet the Dark Lord, he had to gather his thoughts and clear his mind to hide all the things that could reveal his real loyalties.

The reason for his troubled mind was, once again, the night in which he had to kill Albus Dumbledore. Severus felt guilt, even while knowing that it had been an order by Albus himself and that the curse in his hand would have killed the headmaster months later anyway, and also sorrow about the man who had seen the real Severus all the time and who had given him a chance.

But it was not Albus who was the biggest part of the storm raging inside him. It was someone who had barely been visible to him this night, but he knew that the person had seen what he had done. He had felt the golden gaze on him, he had been able to bode the tears and the incredulity in these eyes.

It was always hard to stop himself from thinking about her, but it was getting more challenging every day since this night and there were always these questions in his mind: What was she thinking about him now? Did she hate him now? Would he ever see her again as it was clear that the war was nearly there and that people would be hunted? Every time when he looked at the possible scenarios he felt this overwhelming fear that paralyzed him for a few seconds.

Severus took a deep breath and closed his mind, preparing himself for the mental presence of the Dark Lord and walked through the large entrance hall into the big dining hall with its heavy wooden table. His gaze wandered over the death eaters already sitting at the table. In the back of the room he could see a silhouette hovering in the air in a laid position, but the shadows were taking to much light away to give him a clue about the identity of the person. He looked over to the Dark Lord, sitting at the end side of the table and nodded at the round, stepping to the last free chair, while the cold voice of Voldemort spoke:"Severus... I was beginning to fear you´ve lost your way! Come, we´ve saved you a seat!"

Severus sat down without a comment about his late arrival. He had to control himself to not take the risk for a look to the figure floating in the shadows and fully concentrated himself on the dark wizard next to him.

"You bring news, I trust!"

Severus knew that the Lord would be asking for that. Deep inside himself he heard a voice screaming at him to not give them the information he had been assigned to search for, but he knew that there was only this single option.

"It will happen at next Saturday night", he answered calmly, but immediately he heard another death eater talk up against him:"Bullish, I heard something different, saying that they won´t move Potter before the 30th. They can´t bring him out till he is seventeen!"

He would have loved to punch the dumb face of this man for moving up against him, not for the first time. He raised his voice only a little bit to underline his certainty.

"This is a false trail! They assume we have infiltrated the ministry, giving us knowledge about his movements."

The conversation went on and Severus, turning his head to the talking people, tried to take a closer look on the figure. He assumed that it had to be a women, according to the shades that draw the body and the long hair hanging down. It was his luck that the Lord made a comment about the ministers words so that he was turning his attention back to Voldemort before he was asked where Potter would be moved to – otherwise he might have overheard him due to his rising interest on the person. Who was it?

"To a safe house. Mostly like to one of someone of the Order. Looking at the manner of protection, once there it will be impossible to attack him!"

Someone cleared his throat and then Bellatrix started to say something. Severus already knew that she would be offering to do something for the Lord and Severus chuckled inwardly by the thought that Bellatrix would even volunteer to lick the muddy boots of the Lord. Severus tried hard to concentrate on the conversation and to ignore the shadow and the cries from the cellar. The Lord talked about his wand and its impossibility to kill Potter, ultimately taking the wand from Lucius. Severus felt pity for Lucius who looked like a broken man, shivering in fear, not able to speak up in front of the Lord. Voldemort made a small movement with the wand and the figure in the shadow began to move towards the table.

"For those of you who did not notice – we have a guest tonight!"

As the light of the candles and the fireplace started to give more visibility to the figure, Severus had a bad feeling in his stomach, not knowing were it was coming from. And then, as the figure was floating over the middle of the table, he felt his heart stop for a second and he had to gather all his will to control himself and not to jump from his chair in surprise and dread.

"I assume some of you already know Miss Rolanda Hooch... she was Hogwarts' flying instructor..."

Severus only listened with a half ear, not really registering what Voldemort said, he was just to shocked by the sight that she was offering. He had never seen her looking this beautiful, but also not this suffering and helpless. Her light blonde hair was long now, hanging down in shimmering curls, but blood, coming from a pretty deep wound on her temple, had become encrusted in the strands. Her eyes were half closed as if she wanted to block out her surroundings and her arms were tied up in a painful position behind her back. Specks of blood and dry mud covered her muggle clothing, consisting of a slim jeans and a loose blue and white top with a leather jacket over it. Her feet, from which one was in a slightly awkward position, were covered by some black boots.

"Severus, I think you´ll happen to know her best from us all, am I right?"

Severus saw her eyes fly open as his name was mentioned and she bend her head a little bit more to set her golden eyes on him. He felt a slight shiver going through his body and he was thankful for his good self-control, so that he was able to sound as calm as before as he answered:"Yes, my Lord. May I ask what she is doing here?"

"Of course, Severus. Dolohov!"

"She was part of a team of Order members that seemed to check out possible flying routes for the Potter transport, probably a attempt to give us a false trail. Unfortunately, she was the only one that we were able to get hold of. We believed she could be useful to get some more information!"

"Right... and therefore I thought you would like to do the questioning, Severus. As you know her weaknesses, I consider it to be the most efficient way to get possible news. If she won´t talk, torture her."


	2. Chapter 2

Well, here is the second chapter, a thank you to Sleepisfortheweak16, TheUnnamedAvatar and SlenderPanda for your reviews!

I´ll be in Greece for one week, so you have to wait a little bit for the Third Chapter, but don´t worry, it is already written so it will be posted as soon as I am back :) *imaginary postcard moment*

I hope you enjoy this one, leave me your opinion :)

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Severus could not believe that this was happening.

He felt like somebody had punched him in the face and into the stomach out of nowhere, leaving him shocked and unable to react for some seconds. On the outside he maintained his calm facade, but he felt sick on the inside and he somehow hoped that this was a bad dream, that he would wake up any minute and find himself home, in his bed.

"I understand, my Lord. I will give my best efforts!", Severus said, facing the Dark Lord, who nodded, saying:"I trust you will. You will stay here at the Manor, have a eye on Lucius!"

The Dark Lord left, followed by his snake Nagini and some Death Eaters accompanied him while the others left for their homes shortly after, leaving Severus with the three Malfoys and the still floating Rolanda in Malfoy Manor. Severus took himself a brief moment to look at Draco – he saw fear in Draco´s eyes and also disbelief. It had to be shocking for the boy to see his teacher in such a state, he knew that Draco had liked Rolanda for her fairness and for her efforts during her career as a professional.

"Draco", Severus said, locking his own feelings away once more. "Please take our guest to the cellar while I will prepare for my task!"

Draco shivered slightly as he took his wand out and guided the floating Rolanda away while Severus stood up and left the room, his cloak billowing behind him as always. He could not stand it anymore.

As soon as Severus had closed the bathroom door behind him and had put up a Muffliato spell, his mask fell. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, seeing nothing than fear. His hands were shaking as he splashed some cold water into his face. How was he going to fulfill this task? He knew exactly what the Dark Lord had meant with torture – keeping the victim on the edge to insanity, but leaving it still able to talk, exploring all the remarkably flexible pain boundaries of the human body. Severus knew how this worked, every Death Eater knew – but he could not do it on Rolanda. He simply could not, his whole body contracted by the thought that he would have to use a potion or a curse against her. Harming her, the thought simply sounded false, even sickening. He felt torn between two sides and he knew which one he had to stick to. The decision was between Rolanda and the mission he had been given by Albus. Damn it, there was no other choice then the mission, otherwise the dark days would never find a end! He cursed the old man for choosing him to do all this, for leaving him in this situation, for the decision to hire Rolanda as the flying instructor... and he cursed her for being... her. For enchanting him with her behavior. She had been kind, even when he had met her with his usual cold, grumpy distance and somehow they had become friends and he had told her about Lily. How she had broken his heart and she had told him about her worst moments. They had build up a trusty friendship, she had respected that he needed his room, but she always pushed him to go to Hogsmeade with her or play a round of chess when she felt that he was about to cave himself in his rooms. Her smile was able to sooth him, to calm him down when he was angry... only Lily had been able to do that with him and he sometimes even forgot the pain Lily had caused to his heart when he was with Rolanda because it simply felt right to challenge with her for fun, to talk to her... This showed him that she was someone special, as special as Lily had been to him and now... now he feared that he would loose this new, precious treasure in his life as well. But at least he was in charge of her treatment and as long as nobody would notice, he could prevent her from the worst scenarios.

A hard gasp escaped Rolanda as she was released from the levitation spell and her back hit the cold stone floor. Draco hurried to leave the cellar, avoiding her gaze on his way out. Poor boy, she thought. He had been pulled into this by his family, she was sure that he rather would not choose any side if he had a choice. He was a git sometimes, arrogant and all, but that simply was something that came with Lucius Malfoy being your father.

She shifted in a slightly more comfortable position and pulled her jacket tighter around her body, trying to block out the cold and foremost the splitting headache and the pain in her ankle – she was sure it was broken. She had experienced a rather hard landing as she had been forced to jump off her broom and in the next second she had been hit by a curse, knocking her over and she had received the wound on her head. They had been prepared, had put up spells that prevented her from disapparating and had used their surprise moment to disarm her as well. First bigger Order mission, immediately caught by Death Eaters – nice balance sheet, she thought sarcastically. Hell, she had thought she would be a little bit more useful. She had received a O in Defense Against the Dark Arts in her N.E.W.T.s, she had been educated in dueling by Filius because he had had, in a fatherly former house teacher moment, decided last year that she needed to refresh her skills and had emphasized her improvements in every session – she felt as if she had failed on herself, on the Order and on Filius.

She looked around the empty cellar, the bars on the only exit and felt helpless anger. She had not imagined to be captured and to make it even worse, she was confronted with the man who was the last person she wanted to see.

Severus.

The man who had played a false game with everyone over so many years. The man who had betrayed the people that had trusted him without a twitch, who had been a superb actor.

She had thought that she knew him better then other people. She had considered him as a friend! How easily he had deceived her, how easily one could be mistaken. Rolanda wanted to hate him, she had decided that when her eyes had set on the dead body of Albus Dumbledore. But she had been forced to experience that it was hard to develop hate on a person that she had liked for so many years, she had learned to appreciate his presence... and maybe her feelings had grown into something more unnoticed.

Suddenly the door opened and she turned her head slowly.

When one was thinking about the devil, he would come... it was Severus.

He magically locked the door behind him and waved his wand to enlighten some of the torches on the wall. Rolanda knew that his walls were up as her eyes fell on his expressionless face and immediately she started to build up her own shelter – she could play this game as well! She would not give him the satisfaction of appearing weak or beaten, she would not let herself become a victim, even though she was the one lying on the floor with injuries, lacking her wand, while he was standing over her.

"Well, hello, Severus. How is the salary of your new job? Working times fair and so on?", she asked, trying so sound as calm and casual as possible.


	3. Chapter 3

Now, I am baaack... my gosh, how cold Germany is... :D

I hope you enjoy the chapter, leave me your opinion :)

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In any other situation Severus would have started to smile. Obviously Rolanda had not lost her sarcasm and the ability to control her nerves as good as he was.

"Nice to see you", he said, trying to sound as cold and uninterested as possible. "New haircut, I see."

"Yeah, my hairdresser happened to be a muggle-born so your guys killed her off. Had to try new things", Rolanda said nonchalantly and returned his gaze as he fixed his eyes on her.

"We have talked about new jobs – the Order, huh?", Severus asked and he could not deny that he felt some sort of weird pride about her joining the Order of the Phoenix, standing up to fight against the evil.

"Aah, just some holiday job... sorting files and so on..."

"How fascinating", Severus said, tipping softly against his knuckles with his wand. "You may excuse that we won´t have much more time for small talk, as much as I deplore that. There are things that are more... important."

"I am so disappointed to hear that, I had hoped that we could talk about the fact how easily you can change your loyalties! How did you manage to fool Dumbledore so he would trust you with his life?", she snarled, making the conversation a little bit more aggressive. Severus felt how she hit the soft spot inside of him and worked hard to maintain his façade as he felt the guilt once again crashing in on him. He wished he could have told her the truth as it hurt to see the hate in her eyes, but he had to play his role, he had to go on.

Slowly and controlled he knelt down next to her and pressed the tip of his wand against her chin, glaring dangerously at her.

"From now on, I will ask the questions. But I am in a good mood today, so I will give you one chance: tell me everything you know about the actions the Order is planning and you won´t be harmed. How does that sound?"

He begged Merlin and the whole freakin' universe that she would agree, that he would not be forced to hurt her. But only seconds after he had finished his suggestion she already gave him the answer:"Never. I am no coward. Do whatever you want, Snape."

She spat his name out as if it was a foul piece of food and he stood up, nodding slowly as he once again fought for control over his own body.

"Good. You had the choice", he whispered and Rolanda was surprised as she saw a short expression of pain and sorrow flicker over his face, but as soon as it had appeared it was gone. With a wink of his wand ropes appeared out of nowhere, looping around her ankles and wrists. Rolanda breathed out sharply as the pain in her injured ankle grew due to the pressure.

"Really comfortable, Severus. You´v done that with all the ladies that came across your path? Guess that´s the reason why you are single then."

"I am amused by the fact that you still are in the mood to make these remarks!", Severus chuckled darkly and waved his wand again, this time conjuring a trunk which was filled with countless potion phials. Rolanda held his gaze, answering rebelliously:"When a bunch of crazy people try to hunt you down you need some humour and sarcasm to make it through the day. So, I thought you were going to interrogate me, not play with your chemistry set!"

"Each one of these potions is capable of causing pain or negative emotions like hopelessness. Be sure that this will be a real interrogation, not some nice chat between old colleagues!", Severus said, fighting desperately not to give in to the urge to free her from this situation. Dumbledore had told him that the mission would ask great sacrifices from him, that he needed to stick to his strong will to make everything a success – but Severus doubted that he could go any further without loosing himself. He was afraid of the actions he was about to do and he was happy that he could turn his back to her as he searched through the phials, otherwise Rolanda would have been able to see how his hands were shaking.

Rolanda had a hard time not to show how much fear was reigning inside her mind. She controlled her breathing, even though it was difficult as she was on the edge to be hyperventilating. She had known that Severus had a evil side, there were hardly any people to find how did not knew about his past as a death eater, but she had never thought that she would actually experience these dark features. He had a great knowledge about the dark arts and she was nearly curious about how he would try to get her to talk – not that he would get much useful answers, the Order members that were left hardly told each other about planned missions – they did trust each other, even with Snape´s betrayal in mind, but it was simply safer for everyone to know as less as possible in case of a questioning. Nobody made someone who was to obvious a secret keeper of its house, meeting places were announced a minute before everyone made their ways to the meeting. They were always on a high risk which made everyone extremely suspicious from the first day on – Rolanda had been attacked on the first day, Mad-Eye had stated that it had been somewhat a new record, but one she was not really proud of, but at least Mad-Eye had given her some credit:"Ya showed some skill to get your tiny ass out of there."

She was ripped out of her thoughts as Severus turned around again, his face once again a unreadable mask. He saw how she eyed the phial he was holding, the black potion inside already waiting.

"You ask yourself what this potion will do to you? I spare out the name for you, but I will tell you how it works: It will make you experience your greatest fears in your mind and therefore weaken you."

"Sounds like fun", Rolanda gave him a crooked smile. Severus knelt down, shooting a dark glance at her.

"Believe me, it is not."

His left hand gripped her neck, mercilessly holding her head in its position while he forced the phial to her lips. He said nothing as he made her swallow the potion, the liquid burning in her throat. As the phial was empty to the last drop, he stepped back, putting it back into the trunk.

His heart was beating painfully in his chest as he waited for the potion to do what it was brewed for.

* * *

Tell me what you believe are the greatest fears of Rolanda Hooch? I am curious about your ideas :)


	4. Chapter 4

A big thanks for your suggestions on Rolanda´s fears!

I am so so sorry for letting you wait so long, I was somewhere else with my head and just could not find a way to continue, but now I have and I am trying my best to continue ASAP :)

I hope you all like this chapter :)

* * *

Rolanda´s eyes snapped open as she felt a stabbing pain flashing through her body. She shivered and felt how her body extremities started to shake uncontrollable as pictures started to flood into her mind and she began to see scenes in front of her even with her eyes wide open...

_The Irish National Team was stripped off its World Title because the Official Referee Committee of Quidditch had recognised that she had done some illegal moves during the game – therefore she was removed from the National Hall of Fame – one of her greatest achievements._

_The whole staff turned to her, calling her names and then Albus stepped forward, saying:"You are incompetent and therefore unbearable for a school like Hogwarts! You are fired!"_

"_We never want to see you again! I am so disappointed!", Filius said and Minerva turned to her as well, grinning:"You were such a fool to believe that you were friends with anyone of us! We are happy when you´re gone!"_

_Her friends, her family rejecting her, pushing her away..._

_She was running through a dark forest, every breath was hurting in her chest and fear and adrenaline raced through her veins. She heard them or it close behind her, a foul and hot breath brushing against her neck, fingertips of grabbing hands... hunted._

"_You are a nothing, Rolanda. How ridiculous of you to believe that I could ever return your foolish feelings!", Severus said, grinning evilly at her. "You measly woman, you told me every secret about the order because you thought that I was feeling the same...You did not even see that I only used you in all these years! We were never friends!"_

_Betrayal. So much lies. Being laughed at because of her feelings. Her feelings..._

Rolanda cried out loudly, her nails scratching over the stone floor as her biggest fear was mercilessly brought to her mind – she had always had the fear to be rejected, but it would be far worse to be rejected by someone who she harboured secret feelings for. But this revelation did not hurt as much as she had thought it would – because she had already thought about the possibility that Severus had only acted as if they were friends. To be honest, she had thought about this since he had left Hogwarts after the murder of Dumbledore and she had kind of found her peace with that thought, even though it was hard to accept it.

Severus clenched his fists so tight that his nails were digging into the flesh of his palms while he watched Rolanda tossing around in her tied up position, eyes wide open and filling with tears, but her gaze was unfocused. The feeling of guilt inside him increased even more as he watched her, being so vulnerable and he had caused this with his own hands. And he would have to make it even worse, she would have to bear pain that could kill her or drive her insane because it was more then the average human body was able to withstand.

Once again he cursed his past, he cursed Albus for this goddamn mission and he also cursed Rolanda because she had to take on this damn Gryffindor bravery from Minerva, Poppy and Albus and add it to her brilliant Ravenclaw mind, making her join the Order to probably give her life for nothing. At least it was more honourable then being a death eater, it was the right side she had chosen – but were had this decision directed her?! Right into the claws of the evil, right into one of the centres of the danger. He was sure that she would, as soon as she would regain full consciousness, ask herself if the pain, the tears and the horrors were all worth it, like he had done so many times before.

Rolanda asked herself how much longer the potion would last as the pictures suddenly stopped being forced to her inner eye and her tensed muscles loosened, burning as if she had run a marathon. She could not control the shaking of her body and she could not stand feeling so helpless, so vulnerable. Surely Severus would be feeling triumphant right now and she closed her eyes, not willing to see him bathing in it.


End file.
